Dedicated to my memory, written to ease my soul May 4, 1977

When I was thirteen, that tender age, I wrote poetry and I was able to cry

But now it doesn’t come easy, crying that is

Maudlin-a word a young man used to describe me when I was thirteen

And now people call me a good time and enjoy my company

When I was thirteen people knew my heart was crying and my mother told me I was a fool

but now everyone thinks I’m laughing and crying out with joy

Am I all the wiser now? You know I’m still a fool-

But where will it take me?

I used to dream alot when I was thirteen

Now I dream about when I was thirteen

It seems that now dreams are expectations and lately I do not know what to expect

When Daddy died, I expected things were going to get better because death is the ultimate teardrop

But I think I was wrong because black lace and roses is alot more poetic than dark long caverns

of nothing but pools of tears at its base.

You see we are just individuals with no hope that our lovers and friends will just understand us

So we run into the security of white lace and roses and it even makes us more alone

Because one and one never make one and that’s what we don’t know

It’s even worse when you believe you’re half and you care constantly seeking for someone to complete you

When I was thirteen I daydreamt about enchanted forests with magic trees and wood nymphs

My fantasies were painted with hues of sunshine and carpeted with leaves of gold

Now when I transport my dreams to faraway places and I get lonely and scared

Back in those years of innocence and naivety I used to give my mother a present on her birthday and expected a party for mine

But this year on my birthday, I think I will send her roses and thank her for bringing me into the world

I think I will also thank her for protecting me in her womb, that really deserves thanks

And now I have the capacity to make babies and I get maternal instincts

Oh, even though its a tough world and sometimes I have nightmares, I still love being alive

But

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